24 March 2011

Mind Trippin

Yea, I know it's been what? Many, many months, but I can explain. My life is off kilter and while I'm still holding on, my "mojo" took off to parts unknown; only making elusive and short-lived appearances.  Well, last night it showed up and I'm happy with the result. So, without further ado, this is what I've got

In the night time when my body's calling and rain is falling softly like the water from my pool of life; I think of you and wonder why I have to ponder and recall the nearness of you instead of having you beside me; or better yet inside me.  The fruits on the tree of life are ripe and ready for picking, but you're not here and my body's tripping at the sound of your voice speaking in my head and I yield to its direction as I yearn for your erection that arrests my mobility knowing I fight with futility the power you command over me…even from afar.

BluJewel © 2011

I'm hoping I will continue to have more creative moments; not just in poetic form, but in general.

There's light within the darkness - Smooches!

05 November 2010

What I know now

We all say, "If I knew then what I know now, I'd be...", which I used to think was a good thing, but after carefully considering the statement, I realize that for many; self included, we would have been done a major disservice.

We go through the good, bad, and indifferent in our lives for a reason.  Obviously many of us don't know what the reason is at the time, but after you've gotten through it, given yourself time to think, and then seen it with new eyes, you can say, "Okay, now I get it" instead of the opening statement.  Without our many and varied experiences, we wouldn't be who we are today.  We wouldn't know how to love, to heal, to grow, or simply just be.  While we want to erase the hurt, shield ourselves from the negatives, and live our respective utopia's; life simply doesn't go that way.  God wrote a book for each of us and it's stated in the Bible, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5.  God prepared our lives according to His will and it's preordained what will happen.  No, God did not want to hurt any of us, but sometimes those hurtful/painful things are a part of His plan to carve us and mold us; and even for us to reach out to Him and call for his anointing in order for Him to bless, strengthen and keep us.

We can't blame God when negative things happen.  Sometimes the intersection of our lives with another is what caused the situation to happen; especially when we ignore our gut and decide to do things our way.  Trust me, I've lived this very lesson.  The Shack by William P. Young speaks to this very matter and it's a book worth reading in order to understand love, loss, conflicted emotions, forgiveness and healing.  This book put so much of what I know now into perspective and softened a hardened part of me.  It gave me more clarity and showed me that bad things can happen for good reasons and it's not what happened to me that counts, it's what I did with what happened to me.

I think we all might be better served to accept the things we cannot change and to empower ourselves to accept and know what we know now as a blessing.  We are all victors and not victims if we allow ourselves to be.  Remember we can't undo the past and make it right and there are no do-overs, so we have to accept that what's done is done.  Let us remove the rose coloured glasses and stand tall and say, "What I know now is..." as it ties into your life and life story.  Be makers and doers of the world in order to make a difference.  Be the change you're looking for and accept the man/woman in the mirror; trusting, knowing, and believing that you are somebody.  Be defined for who you are now and not where/who you were. 

Stand tall and say, "I'm (insert name) and I am proud of me and I what I know now is..."

Make your life count!

04 November 2010

Cleansing in the tears!

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.” Washington Irving


Crying means different things to different people and sadly crying has been given a bad rap as it's often seen as a sign of weakness, but this quote speaks to crying in a favourable light.  It tells us that crying should be embraced and cherished as we would love and laughter.  I liken this quote to the Biblical saying, "...weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.",  Psalms 30:5.  

Personally, I was one of those people who was taught that crying was a sign of weakness and because I that, I held my emotions inside, which led to unhealthy ways of dealing with my saddened emotions.  While I was able to cry when death, physical, or emotional pain arose; however, I often got over it very quickly, but resorted to my unhealthy practices as my ultimate coping mechanism.  

Since healing from this practice, I'm no longer afraid to cry and let my tears flow as freely as they need to.  I feel good knowing that I can and will use my tears as a cleansing to release any built up emotions.  This quote fortifies my embracing tears as a positive release and the  song, "Healing In His Tears" Smokie Norful provides additional comfort.  

Express yourself; it's what makes you human!

03 November 2010

All praises due...

“I do believe that when we face challenges in life that are far beyond our own power, it's an opportunity to build on our faith, inner strength, and courage. I've learned that how we face challenges plays a big role in the outcome of them.” Sasha Azevedo


When I read this quote, I said to myself, "this speaks exactly to me and my life". I thought about the many things that I've been through and how without always knowing of even understanding how I made it that it was faith and God's grace and mercy that carried me through.  I grew up going to Sunday school and to church where I understood the many lessons I was taught, but I didn't always know how they related to my life; when I was going through the many trials; especially as I child that I endured. I attributed it all to  unfortunate life experiences until I got older and began being able to apply the correlation between having inner strength, courage, and faith; in that order to my life.  I took comfort knowing that I was able to make it through all the madness without anyone ever really knowing what was wrong or how I was really feeling behind my Colgate smile.  The gift of discernment that I was blessed with became a burden and I grew afraid of it and ultimately neglected it as it seemed to cause trouble for me as I made inquiries as to the things that happened around me.  However, in spite of that neglect, I was still blessed with inner strength and courage to make it through the hellish things that happened to me in life.

Even though I'd stop going to church, I still remember the many Bible scriptures I was taught and learned and greater still; held on to the one truth that never failed me; Faith.  I always liked the song, 

"We've come this far by faith
Leaning on the Lord
Trust His Holy word
He never failed me yet
Oh, oh can't turn around
Come to far by faith"

As it gave me what I needed to go on and continue to face life with and without it's hardships and adversities.  

My life wasn't all bad and I did have many good times and years, which I always gave thanks for given the numerous bad times I'd gone through.  As an adult who reads and understands the Bible far better than I in my younger years, I have a fuller appreciation of that faith, inner strength and courage that the Lord so graciously blessed me with.  I look back with pride on how far I've come and how this quote was always a part of me without my even knowing it. I give thanks to God for finding favour in me by giving me this ability to face the adversities and keep going.  Each and every experience good or bad has shaped me into the woman I am and my faith has kept me able to have inner strength and courage to face every situation with the necessary tools to stay strong.  Even when I had moments where I wasn't sure how I would make it one day to the next, I knew and relied on God's word that told me there is strength in my weakness.  Faith is the spirits adrenaline and keeps you going when you want to give up.  Inner strength is saying, "I can do this one more day".  And courage is the child born of marrying faith and inner strength, which is the perfect family of things I needed to not just survive, but live.

Take this quote and apply it to your lives. Use it to heal; use it to grow; and use it to face your challenges.


Stay strong!

02 November 2010

The Dumb and the Mindless

Instead of all the talk about election and voting, I decided to give my nickle commentary about The Young & the Restless.  I'm sure I'm not the only who watches this Soap Opera  and wonders these things, so I'm going to speak on many things that make viewers go "hmm?"

So, if Victor Newman is so smart and savvy, how come he can't see that scheming heffa Meggie is playing him like banjo and how do you just let her move into your house and give her free reign?  Okay, so she passed the "Victor Newman Background Check", but c'mon son, really?  You can't smell 'troublemaker" as her eau de trampette?

And while I get that Nikki is a recovering alcoholic, you mean to tell me that you can't taste vodka?  Even though vodka is not my drink of choice, trust it can be tasted in a drink. Grain alcohol is the ONLY liquor that I know of where you can pull that tastelessness on.

How come we don't know how old most of the characters are?  You got kids (Abby) who are in high school, but then are suddenly graduates and drinking.  Last I checked, the legal drinking age in the US was and still is 21.

And how is it that Noah went to Paris for school and his parents had no idea that he graduated and was coming back to the US?

I realize it's a soap opera, but damn the incestuousness of the relationships is really freaky.  Uncle-Brother-in-Law for example  Billy's relationship to Abby).

Are there no other places in Genoa City for folk to stay at other than the Athletic Club? 

Lily is the mother of twins and traipses around the house in shorts and heels.  Really? 

Who, aside from Jack Abbott wears a suit and tie all day everyday?  Can someone snatch him up take him to the Guess store for some jeans and a tee shirt.

How come the Chancellor estate, the Newman Ranch, and the Abbott mansion only has one or two rooms that everything happens in? 

How do people have sex in the middle of the day, not shower and go about their business sex funky for the rest of the day?

How do people have these plots and schemes (Meggie/Deacon) and no one figure them out?

Okay, that was some mindless entertainment on my part. Next post will be back to our usual programming.

Btw, I hope you voted!