Having seizures

I've always been one for taking advantage of moments and opportunities and have yielded to many a dare or impulsive bouts because I'm a firm believer in making the most of out this life.  I've overcome a lot of adversity in my life and I've lived to tell, so it's very important for me to wrap my arms tight around life and squeeze it until I can't get anymore out of it.

Having lost Lil Lady's father earlier this year, I was once again reminded of how short and precious life is and why it's important to heal your hurts, reconcile where possible, love hard in spite of previous hurt, and stop making excuses.  Since his passing, I've seen others go as a result of illness or sudden death and it scares me, not because I'm afraid of death, but because there is so much I want to accomplish and achieve before my time comes.  I've seen some of said people suffer, some not, and others just waste their life on drugs or being reckless.  I can't and won't tell another how to live their life, so I'll speak solely of myself and that is I'm going to live this and live it well.  I'm going to have "seizures", which is my analogy to seizing as many good moments as I can get.  I want to see things and do things that I've never done before, or thought I wasn't interested in, or simply 'just because'.  Why?  Instead of that question, rephrase it by asking "why not?"  What do we have to lose?  A bruised ego?  Some money lost?  Whatever the reason for not, can't in my book outweigh why not.

In the past couple months, I've experienced more than I had in a very long time.  My walls have come down and the resulting infiltration of my inner being hasn't been bad.  I've learned to like football AND baseball.  I don't fully understand each sport, but I do know enough to make it through a game.  I've explored sex in a way I never thought I would because I negated things on "thinking" I wouldn't like it instead of at least trying it first.  I'm the fittest I've been in a long time; not to mention almost 7lbs lighter because I consistently go to the gym whereas I used to 'hate' gyms.  I see and love myself fully, wholly, and with conviction.  I want my dash to have a lot to speak for when my memorial service is held as I'm looking down on my friends and family listening to them recall and retell the times we've shared or things I've done.

I do have down days.  I have moments where I feel stagnant or unproductive and I entertain them.  Why not?  I have to explore that side of me as it serves as a catalyst for me to rise up and forge on; to open the door again and allow opportunity to come in instead of having to knock.  While I may never achieve everything, I'm going to do as many things as I can and with each "seizure" I have, I'll have yet another thing to look back on and be proud of. 

What's your motivation?