Waving goodbye while saying hello!!!

Today marks the last day of my 42nd year and I'm hours away from my 43rd.  Year 42 started out with lots of festivity and in the company of my wonderful family and friends.  I embraced the newness of it and was excited about what was in store for me.  The first 5 months sailed by and for the most part, it was pretty good going.  At the end of February I was laid off due to a contract loss and budget cuts, which I didn't put much worry into as I anticipated not being out of work long.  At the end of March, I lost Lil Lady's father, which was unexpected and left me in shock and confusion as it was only two weeks prior to her 18th birthday.  With the resiliency, I shouldered a shared responsibility with his mother in having to settle his estate, comfort Lil Lady, and handle my own life.  None of it was; nor continues to be easy for me, but I forge on trusting in the Lord for provision, strength, and comfort.  My friends/family were there for me when I needed them and aided wherever they were called on.

Life still goes on in spite of the loss/pain. I am still without a job, Lil Lady has started college, my mother is still a source of contention in my life, but I'm still thankful for the year as it's given me learning lessons, tools/resources, a renewed vigor to live this life and make memories and moments count; moreover, I realize that nothing can be done without leaning on the Lord.  I managed to keep the faith, but there were times where I didn't lean as hard as I should have and only saw the dark even when it was light outside.  The past couple days have had me at my emotional weakest and wasn't sure how I'd end my old year for the avalanche of emotions was more than I could bear.  But God is good and I rose this morning realizing that I was in the fortunate position of having my old year end on a Sunday and I couldn't wait to get to church.  I needed to be there. The rain that came down this morning was welcomed as a cleansing for me to wash away all the negativity, mixed emotions, and darkness that had been clouding me like smog.  I received exactly what I needed in church through the sermon and the closing prayer; God is good!  Now I feel renewed, able, refreshed, and ready to welcome the new year.

So, here I sit waiting for the dinner reservations made by Lil Lady to celebrate my birthday as I wave goodbye to 42 and say hello to 43.  4+3 = 7, which is the number of the Divine so it's got no other choice but to be a good year.  I know God's got this and He's got me and together we're going to do it up.  There are no triumphs without trials and there has to be a test in order to have a testimony, so while 42 left me heavy laden, I still made it through with a triumph and a testimony.  I'm stronger, more resilient, wiser, more aware, and definitely more appreciative of life/living as I said before.  I don't like being a single parent, but we raised a strong daughter who was fortunate of having her father in her life from the time she was conceived until his passing.  She has wonderful memories of their time shared and has his initials to give her additional closeness.  He was a good man to me and in spite of our not making it as a couple; we made it as parents.  He lives on through her and she lives with me, so he'll always be a part of me and my life.

Life is good; people not so much, but I'm okay with that. I know God didn't bring me this far to leave me and I know that like a good vintage; 43's going to be a good year.

Stay blessed!